Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Women Words, The Man Rules & A Thong Mishap

Hello Everyone,

So I had over 350 emails that I have been catching up on this morning. I have it down to 66 right now. I got a couple of items I really enjoyed and thought was funny. Hope you like them too.


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake..

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will b ring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying...Go to H...

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Ok I have absolutely used all of these words. How about you?

Now a man's rebuttal:

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
These are our rules ! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down..

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself..

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping..

Sounds like a man!!

Ok here is a picture I want to share with you. I know that you all have probably already seen it but it reminded me of something that happened at Walmart the other day.

So while I was leaving Walmart I got behind this lady that had on white pants. They were really thin pants and should have been lined. She had on a black top and a black thong. I don't know why things shock me but I am just amazed sometimes how some people just don't have any common sense. Now I have stated on here I am no fashion diva or anything like that. I like shirts and jeans. Period. But even I know that a black thong is going to be visible through white pants. With pants that thin - definitely.

So what do I do. I couldn't help myself after my shock was over I started laughing. I mean a very good laugh. Of course being a blogger I reached for my phone. I had my target in site. I was in camera mode and I was about to click the button when . . . The man behind me yelled "I know what your laughing at!" OMG!! I twirled around, in my mind I was thinking I hope that's not her husband! OMG!! Thankfully it wasn't. Once I realized his wife was by his side. I told them, "I know it's wrong, but I just can't help myself". And really I just couldn't! Once I was done talking to them my picture opportunity was gone. I don't know if she heard him or not but really I don't see how she couldn't have.

Now don't forget to stop by tomorrow for my 200th post giveaway. I will have 2 or 3 prizes and I will have it open for a week so tell all of your bloggy buddies. Until next time

Have a blessed day!


Rosie said...

You are just like me!...never miss an opportunity to photograph a perfect bloggy moment! It's going to get us in trouble one of these days!

Tabitha in Bliss said...

I laughed soooo hard at this!
Mostly because the first part is SO me. I say those things to hubby daily. LMAO

The Blonde Duck said...

That's so funny!

Mighty M said...

The Walmart story is great!! I love the things women say - guilty on 9 counts!! The men's rules though - I am definitely not following those!! ;-)