Well today it has been 20 years since my brother Ray passed away. I have been meaning to tell you about him since I started my last blog, but it's just kinda hard to do it. I'm just gonna blog like I'm writing to him, that's about the only way I can bring myself to do it without crying here at work.
TWENTY years! It hurts to think that you have been gone that long. You have missed out on all of our children. You only knew Tash and Tony. I know you loved them and loved playing with them. You would absolutely love all of the other kids. There's Matthew Ray, Dakota Andrew, Nikki LaShae, India Megan, Steven, Larissa Desirae, Steven James, and Keely Shay. All your nieces and nephews know about you. Now you have a great nephew Ray. I have often wondered about your children and what they would have looked like and been like. We have missed so much, you have missed so much.
If only you hadn't died. What would it be like? I try to think of what you might look like. Who you might have married. How many kids you might have had. It's just so sad and unfair that your life was cut so short. It was an awful time for us after you died. We were so positive that you would live. We had our faith in God. We thought the peace we felt was because you were going to live. We were so angry when you did die. We were hurt and mad. If it hadn't been for God in our lives there's no way we could have handled it.
When you died you were all alone in that cemetary. Not for long, Mrs. Hacker joined you just two months later, when you died she kept saying it should have been her. Then Polly Tucker who also loved you, she was buried in the memorial building facing your grave. Now you know that Grandma and Grandpa are with you, Uncle Paul, Uncle Joe, Uncle Troy and Uncle Junior have all passed. You have lots of company now. And just last year Kristy passed away. I know there are others but those are just a few that come to mind.
Please know that you are never forgotten. Every gathering, every dinner, every day - you are always a part of it and always will be. It's been TWENTY years but the hurt still seems like that day. You are always in my heart, mind, thoughts and life.
I better go now I am getting teary eyed and still have a lot to do here. I love you little brother and always will! I'll miss you forever.
Have a blessed day!